To my dearest,
I don’t know why I waited till now to write this, but here I am. This is a long overdue letter, but I guess it’s never too late.
I have never entertained the thought of having to say goodbye, never wondered what it’d be like to bid farewell forever.
But as I sit here, the gravity of the situation slowly starts to sink in. We all have to say goodbye one day, be it now or later.
I remember once, we were watching a cheesy rom-com together, huddled under the blankets on the sofa. You stared at me while the closing credits rolled and said something I’ll never forget.
You told me: ‘All love ends in tragedy.’
I didn’t understand what you meant back then. We had just watched a romantic movie with a beautiful ending, and I didn’t know why you were saying something so depressing.
But now, I think I get it. Even the most beautiful love stories are tragedies in disguise, because in our finite lives, forever is nothing but a beautiful lie. Flowers wilt, the sun sets, and rivers dry up. No pair of lovers can be together without saying goodbye one day.
I don’t want to believe in endings, but I’d be lying to myself.
You promised me forever in a finite world, and even though that in itself is already a lie, I am comforted.
Don’t we all desire the concept of a forever? An everlasting beauty, enshrined and preserved for eternity… I want that for us too, even if that isn’t possible.
I love you. I miss you every day. Even now, I still hope that you’ll wake up and hold me in your arms. I want to hear you tell me that it’s going to be alright.
I want us to finish our story together, hand in hand, just like the couple in that rom-com that you like so much.
Our love story is far from beautiful, it is far from perfect, and it is so far from the happy ending that I had hoped for.
The both of us were doomed from the day we met, for the universe had set into motion yet another tragedy, as all things actually are.
We both suffered as much as we loved, and yet I’ll choose to love you again and again and again. No matter how painful, I will always choose you.
Because I know you’ll choose me too.
Sleep tight now, my love. I know you’ll land among the stars, where a soul as brilliant and dazzling as you are rightfully belongs. I promise I won’t cry anymore.
I promise I’ll search for you in the skies when I miss you.
Goodbye, my precious. Thank you for everything.