Rob; Hey Margaret, how are you today, I hope that all is good with you and that, fuck, I cannot remember her name even though she told it to me last night, your mum is fine? Sorry I had to go. Work calls.
Margaret; No, Rob, sorry, it is not all going well, I cannot speak just now, “Petra” died last night.
Rob; Hey Babe, what’s up? you sounded stressed, “Petra” being a bitch again?
Margaret; Rob sorry for calling you so late, I did not wish you to think that you were cast aside, I really wished to talk to you but “Petra” died. She was a lovely woman. So small you could hold her close like a willow wand, so sweet, grey and slender. She is gone now, I called the doctor and he sent someone to come and take her away. I know you are working but call me when you get the chance.
Rob; Sorry for just leaving a message, You were not answering, I understand it must be so difficult, you birth mother dying just after you met her for the first time.. I remember how difficult it was for me. You know, big, hard, stoic me, when my dog died and that was just my dog. It must be harder for you. Fifteen years ago, sixteen perhaps, she bit the dust, I still miss her. So I know how hard it can be. Must be much harder for you.
Rob; Sorry for missing your call, was driving, I wish we were together and I could hold you and console you. I will be home soon, sorry for being away when this happened. What have you done with her?
Margaret; Hey Rob, I did just as you said, Rubbed her down with bleach, took your chainsaw from the shed and cut her into small pieces. I used the plastic sheeting from underneath the garden bench to keep the shed splatter free. I did all the things that you asked of me, call me back as soon as you can. I did not want to do it so soon but she was bugging me. I wish I had never tried to find my birth mother. Thought she would be like me.
Rob; Hey babe I am just rolling through Oban and will soon have a signal again and so can guide you. No one is like you babe, you’re an original and I love you for it. You seem to be making a great job of it on your own; find a deep well or a rarely visited stretch of water and weight the bags with stones. Don’t want to be teaching my granny to suck eggs but want to help.
Margaret; I took care of it, she’s gone. No one will find her. Come home soon baby. I miss you.
Rob; Where’d you dump her? Somewhere deep and dark I hope?
Margaret; She’ll be deep in the mud before anyone ever knows she is gone and will never be seen again.
Rob; Proud of you baby, never knew all the things I taught you would pay these kind of dividends. I love you.
Margaret; My teacher, my lover, now we will be together, my mother gone, now we can wallow in our own desires with no interference. I am up baby can’t wait to see you again.
Rob; Hey babe wish that were the case but my boy is coming to visit, got a text from him as I was driving, He will be there soon after I get back. T’will be good to see the boy again, it has been years. Looking forward to raising a glass with him again. “Chip off the old block they always tell me”.
Margaret; You have been away too long, I want you all to myself when you get back. I want to do things to you, things you will always recall, Remember when I stabbed that tramp?
Rob; I do, I will always remember that night. I still bear the scars, love you babe, nearly there, an hour or two at the most. No hurting the boy.
Margaret; Waiting for you, lover. Can’t wait for you to give it to me the way only you can.
Rob; Home in half an hour cant wait to see you again babe and get my reward.
Rob; Hey babe, I am nearly home. Thought you would have called me back? I suppose that you still have stuff to attend to. Call me back when you are finished.
Rob; Hey babe it’s been a while now, call me. I am missing you and getting a little worried. I should be there in three quarters of an hour if the traffic is not too bad. Love you.
Rob; I am getting worried for real now call me back babe. I hope that I have done nothing to upset you? Love you girl.
Rob; Call me babe, I am seriously worried now, do not play games with me, call me.
Margaret; Hey Dad, I did for your bitch, I did her good, she has so many holes now that you can fuck her for years and never enter the same one twice. Sorry I missed you. Mum will sleep happier now.