Body Shame My Hunger

Body Shame my Hunger

You say I am fortunate to be thin.
You talk about my body like it is a gift,
Granted to me because I was the lucky little bastard
At the right place
At the right time.

But my body was not carved into stone
And laid on a sliver platter for me to
Dress myself in.

You think I am lucky
And that is why I am thin.
You think that my ribs show
When my shirt is too tight
Because the stars aligned
On the night of my conception.

But you don’t know that I only feel thin
When I’m starving.
You don’t know that I count the ribs I can see
When I stand naked in front of the mirror.
You don’t know that the sight
of food makes me want to throw up.

You say I am lucky
To have thin curves,
And gentle hunger
hanging from my collar bone.
You say I am lucky
To have a flat stomach
When there is really nothing inside it
But water.
You say I am lucky
But I look in the mirror and see
A liar
With fat thighs.

My reflection shows me
A girl who will never be pretty,
when her belly is full.
A girl who says she ate breakfast
But she lies.
A girl who begs her parents
To stop feeding her
“because she is full”.
But she is starving.
She just wants to be beautiful.

But you see
It’s like you said.
She is thin
And so she is lucky.

But she doesn’t feel so lucky
When she only feels pretty
In skinny jeans and tight shirt
After skipping a few meals.

Body Shame my Hunger, A Poem by Blood Falls like Teardrops

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